A Mini Update!

I have two weeks to get my book submitted. There are no words for how tense that makes me. 

I haven't been on this site much lately. I've been spending the summer basically creating a new position at my workplace (I was hired as a blogging intern, and since then, I've established a full social media position at the House). I've also been working on my book, editing it further than it was before and having a lot of fun discussing it with a betagroup I formed on Tumblr. I've gotten amazing feedback to apply to the editing of the book and it's helped more than I could've dreamed. However, I still don't know that it's ready to go to a publisher. It still needs more work before next Friday rolls around. Vasant is doing video work for a great software company in Bellevue and we're still running our video production business on the side. Needless to say, this summer has been, like most years, a breathless race towards a perpetually out of reach finish line.

My job at Hugo House has been really exciting lately, however, and this week I have a thousand things to do for it. My official job at the House is in social media. However, on top of that, I'm blogging, doing graphic design and this week, combining all of those things together with our Fall fundraiser. I'm doing decorations, banners, souvenirs and running a social media campaign to get awareness of the event up. 

We are really underfunded this year. We do a lot of great work in the community, offer amazing classes for writers, bookmakers and readers and if our doors are to stay open, then we need people to buy tickets for this event (hint, hint, reader... if you're not doing anything this Thursday, come drink, watch celebrities and help them cheat. $25 tickets and it all goes to keeping our doors open.)

I will try to work on my book as much as possible this coming week, but between my regular job and the fundraiser prep, I don't know how much time I'll have to spend on it until this Friday. Not that I'm complaining. I love where I work. I love what I'm doing. I'm just starting to freak out with two upcoming deadlines that have nothing to do with each other, so there's not chance of helping either project with overlap.

I'll be taking the following week off of work and doing everything I can to get my manuscript ready. As such, I still won't be on here as much as I'd like to be. But I'm on my Tumblr site daily. Feel free to follow me there, check in and wish me good thoughts either here or there. I'm looking forward to getting the book out of my hands, but I'm also incredibly nervous over what I might miss up until the moment I submit. It's like a type of packing anxiety, I suppose.

It'll be great. I just won't sleep at all next week.

I'm not afraid.

And that twitching? That's my new thing. A fancy dance of sorts...

Lessons in Balancing a Good Writing Life, Good Friends and Sex

(this post was originally posted here, but I feel it needs to be said both places:)

This is just not true. 

I have an incredible love life. I have amazing friends. And I work very hard at what I do, and have a lengthy novel (of what I feel is quality stuff) before the age of 30. 

Now, I will say this:

Since getting married, many of my friends dropped off. 85% of them, I'd guess. Since starting the book, even more dropped off. Some of them told me outright to my face that I was going to fail. Told Vasant and I that our dreams of creating art where folly and parted ways with us because we were just "too different".

However...

I have incredibly close friends. My sisters, Emily, Mary and Claire. My friends, Danielle and Matt, Will, my friend since the age of two, Jen Bliss. I have Jules, who is now a real-life friend, as well as here on Tumblr, and Tumblr... I am loving some of you so much lately (I'm especially, but not exclusively, looking at you Erin and Jennifer). I can't wait to meet some of you in real life, like I met Jules. 

I have a bunch of friends whom I won't list here, but who are still there for Vasant and I. When my fabulous friend Jill and her husband moved down to Vancouver to live with my friend's mother, they told us they were encouraged by our "it's never too late to go back to school and the price of education isn't too high to live with family" ideal. They were our champions when others let us know they looked down on us for it, both directly and in a passive agressive "do you know so and so is talking about you" kind of way. 

So I'd say I have 20% of the friends that I did before I got married and before I started writing. But I can tell you this: the friends I have now are better than the ones I lost, with the exception of one single person. 

And I have to work hard at my marriage. I have to work hard at my book and my art. My life is not easy. I strive for the best in all these areas and so often, over the years, I feel like I fail miserably before I succeed. But the failures are part of what make the art great. Failures make a marriage more interesting, and most importantly of all...

Failures are how you tell who really loves you. 

Writing a book, marrying who I married, moving back in with my parents so we could finish school... it rooted out a lot of people who were gossipy naysayers in my life. For a while, this was incredibly depressing. But now, as I find a home for my book in the world, as I look around at a smaller, but truer group of friends and *cough* tonight when Vasant comes home.... I know that it is possible with bullheaded idealism, perseverance and grace, to have all three.

So the poem is right and wrong. It does cost you to have something truly GREAT in your life, but it's wrong to assume that the cost you pay means that you can't have all three. You can. It will cost you heartache and tears and late nights. It may take your health for a time and you will lose friends who weren't worth keeping. However, if you persevere and work hard at all three, you can have it.

And that's a lesson it's taken me six years to learn.

More Art Therapy, A New Job at the Hugo House

(originally posted here)

I recently created some art for an event that Hugo House is holding in August for a zine called Rad Dad. It's been published as an anthology and we're hosting the release party. 

So for the Dad, I was inspired by Vasant (my husband, for you new followers). This was pretty emotional for me to draw, and honestly for me to share. The image we're hosting at Hugo House is this:

It's not just Vasant, but what I think our child will one day look like. For the image of just him, I took away the visible tattoos, although it is VERY IMPORTANT that you know that Vasant has tattoos. Tattoos are cool. They're just not on his arms or neck. I took away the belt and the shirt, and of course, he's wearing Smauglock, everyone's favorite dragon of deduction.

Some of you may not know, but I went through a rough and lengthy miscarriage earlier this year. Just drawing this has thrown me for a loop. But it was good to draw. It feels like I brought one more bit of my heart back.

Click to read more ...

Smauglock, Art Therapy & an Ode to Tumblr

So, some friends on Tumblr asked for a Cumbersmaug. A Cumbersmaug is Benedict Cumberbatch breathing fire. I thought, "I haven't animated anything yet", so I tried my hands at animating fire in this gif. It turned out beautifully.

But it also reminded me that I haven't been drawing lately. It felt so good and it hit me... I haven't done anything truly therapuetic to get through my miscarriage trauma that I'm still dealing with. 

Writing has been very helpful. It helps me understand the pain and the process. But there's something about drawing and painting that gives you a break from the analysis that you have to wade through in writing. It's given me a huge deal of peace. 

Sooooo.... it may seem really trivial that I've spent anytime on these drawings. But it's helping. I'm working at the Richard Hugo House, I'm working on editing my book and getting it ready for publication, and on the side, I've begun drawing. 

So, after enjoying animating Cumbersmaug, I had a funny idea: reversing the concept and drawing Smauglock, the world's only consulting dragon detective. 

So, in my free time, over the last couple weeks, I've drawn, painted, shaded, textured and lit the dragon. And here he is:

And, of course, I'm singing a Smauglock-version of TROGDOR while uploading this.

Now, like I said, I'm still working on my book and at Hugo House. I'm super busy with Vasant and Lilo. But getting back into drawing has been fun and honestly, the most therapy I've given myself all year. 

So I hope you like it. If you don't, I honestly couldn't care. I did it for my unicorn pack on Tumblr.

Click to read more ...

Stories Save My Life: Pride & Prejudice

The sixth post in the series "Stories Save My Life" is written by Claire Salcedo, who is my youngest sister and great friend.

Claire is a singer/songwriter and an amazing upcoming talent. Listen to her music here on Bandcamp and PLEASE support her, if you like the music, by purchasing her incredibly affordable EP.

Follow her on Twitter and on Tumblr and make sure you add your comments below:

What character (from any media) made you feel more secure in who you were as a child?

- Sarah

"Familiar Friends: Returning to Pride and Prejudice"

Guest Poster: Claire Salcedo

I read Pride and Prejudice when I was eleven years old. I vividly remember sitting by the fireplace in my family’s apartment, reading Jane Austen’s words as the logs crackled and burned away. This memory, of exactly where and when I read a book, was the first of its kind. I can’t recall specific books I read before that moment, but I could point out any book on my shelves that I read after Pride and Prejudice, and tell you the date and place I first read it. Something new had happened.

I had already enjoyed reading when I was very young (at four years old, I used to sneak out of my room in the middle of the night to look at picture books in the bathroom). I had loved stories in general—whether being spun a new tale at bedtime (Sarah can attest that I am still, 13 years later, asking her to write down one of those stories) or dreaming one up just to pass a pleasant day.

Pride and Prejudice, however, was my first serious book, and it triggered a hunger in me to read like I had never known before. I began to really love literature after I read it, and I eagerly devoured any book that came my way.

For a long time, I was a quiet kid who struggled to find a voice and the courage to use it. I was an observer. Elizabeth was bold, witty, and while she watched others and their follies, she knew when to speak her mind. She was never afraid just to be herself—whether that was teasing her friends, supporting her family, or tearing into Mr. Darcy.

I liked the fact that she wasn’t perfect and was very aware of it. When you’re in the throes of growing up, and most things in your life seem to be tumbling around you, it’s nice to have such a forgiving standard.

Click to read more ...

CumberSmaug

Spent a couple hours today, in between editing my book and working on a short story, making my first ever gif. I've never made one of these before, but I use photoshop all the time.

Some friends on Tumblr were reblogging a request to turn an existing gif of Benedict Cumberbatch breathing into him breathing fire, in honor of his role as Smaug in Peter Jackson's The Hobbit.

I could only put a small version up on Tumblr, so I'm placing the larger version up here on my website. 

Okay. Time well spent. Now back to the real work. ;)

It's Been a While!

It's been a couple weeks since my last post. My wonderful streak of keeping this blog active has been ground to a halt by a bunch of successive tech issues that have cascaded down upon the site over the last month. 

Right now, everything is ALMOST ready to go again, except for a buggy comment feature. I want to install Disqus to make the reply process a lot easier, but installing it has hidden (not erased) all previous comments on the site. So I'm in touch with tech support and once the issue's fixed, tons of posts on the Stories Series, my book, Vasant and I, and other things will make their way onto the blog.

Until then, I'm REALLY active on Tumblr, if you're interested in reading more funny, quasi-trivial posts from me.

See you soon!

What's Over and What's Coming

I wrote An Artist’s Guide for Goodbyes about two months ago. I had been miscarrying for about a month at that point and I felt I needed to write about what was going on and how art was helping make sense of it and other recent losses. I was writing about moving on, but honestly, it was incredibly difficult even after I made the step to share what I was going through. Don’t get me wrong. Writing that post was like breathing for the first time in a month. I gave words to my pain and opened up about it, and being brave in that way, in a painful way, began the healing process. However, I wasn’t done miscarrying. Every week I had to go back to the doctor, give blood and get the call a couple days later that it still wasn’t done. 

In a way, part of me felt like posting meant it should’ve been the end of my grieving. It wasn’t. It just put me in touch with my grief in a more articulate way. I grew more despondent every week that I had to go back to the nurse, get patted on the shoulder by the sweet nurse who I came to know over the 2+ months who would always say “I hope this is the end for you” as I left the office. And every following week I’d show back up in her doorway, she’d smile sadly, show me to the chair, and repeat the same sad and comforting words as I left.

Vasant and I were struggling to not suppress, and yet not get swallowed by our grief. A few wonderful people emailed after my post. Fewer still followed up with us to see how we were getting along. I read in most of the pregnancy books that miscarriage is really difficult for people because you don’t understand it unless you’ve been through it. It’s a death, but people minimize it because the child was never out in the real world. And yet, this doesn’t really matter to the mother. The child was a promise of new life. Not just A new life, but new life for the parents. The grandparents. The prospective aunts and uncles. On top of a miscarriage being the death of promise, it’s also death within a woman. If someone dies outside of you, it’s hard enough. But if someone dies within you, and that death lingers over 10+ weeks, until all residue of what could’ve been your child cease to exist within you, it can be tortuous.

Not even the few people who grieve with you can understand. And even the few women who miscarry who had quick miscarriages have a hard time understanding. The loss of the child is trauma enough. But for the remainder of that loss to continue to exist within you, lacking definition and yet full of unsettling meaning. For me, my grief was transfigured into torture because of the waiting period. 

Click to read more ...

Stories Save My Life: Meet the Teen Sleuths in My Life

The fifth post in the series "Stories Save My Life" is written by Rae Hanson, a Florida-based TV/media blogger. This is an amazing story of how love for a childhood story led to an adult career. This post excites me! I hope you'll take time to read it and comment. It's truly a unique story!

Rae is a witty writer and a great media savant. Follow her on Twitter and on Tumblr and check out her TV blog archives at www.RamblingsofaTVWhore.com.

Thanks!

-Sarah

Stories Save My Life: Meet the Teen Sleuths in My Life

Guest Poster: Rae Hanson

I’ve been struggling with what to write here. Not because I didn’t know what to say but because I’ve got so many stories to tell about the stories in my life. It seemed an impossible task to pick just one (and I didn’t). And, while it feels like a betrayal not to talk about how Buffy Summers and Joey Potter helped me through that first year of terrifying independence, I decided to focus on the teenage sleuths in my life.

They say you always remember your first but I don’t. I just know at some point I started reading those vintage hard cover Nancy Drew books and became Obsessed. Yes. With a capital O. I’m a sucker for a mystery and there was no one more capable of handling the mysterious than Nancy Drew. Oh, how I loved solving mysteries with Nancy Drew! (Always Nancy Drew, never just Nancy.) And, you know, it didn’t hurt that one of her best friend’s had a boy’s name, George. As a little girl who hated her own boy name, I was (still am!) all over stories with girls with boy names being cool.

It wasn’t long before I graduated from the hard cover books to the “newer” paperback versions, The Nancy Drew Files. I devoured those puppies. "Covet" doesn’t even begin describe my need to own ever book in the series. One small problem though… I lived in Germany. The Army bases probably have their own Barnes & Nobles these days but back then the base bookstore was about the size of an airport bookstore. I don’t remember any of them having more than four aisles, if that. As you can imagine, the Nancy Drew supply didn’t quite reach my demand. But every time we went to the PX (post exchange) or the grocery store, we’d stop in the bookstore so I could search through the stacks for the series I was missing. Finding one was so rare that I never minded when I’d get home and realize I had duplicated a book I already had. The high I’d get from the success of finding what I thought was a new book was too great. And, let’s face it, I didn’t mind solving that mystery again. Not if it meant spending more time with Nancy Drew.

Click to read more ...

Stories Save My Life: Just Give Me a Straight Answer!

The fourth post in the series "Stories Save My Life" is written by Seattle indie director, Kevin Sabourin. You may've seen his work on the outstanding PBS series, The Artist Toolbox, and next year, if you love independent film, you'll hear about Fetch, which is currently in post and set to debut sometime next year. Follow the film's Facebook page to keep tabs on it!

I've known Kevin for years and one of the best things about him is how passionate he is for a good story. Naturally, his post is going to be centered on filmmaking and story. It's perfect that his post, which discusses the impact of Star Wars on his life, falls on Star Wars Day, and no, it wasn't planned. 

I hope you enjoy the article and leave comments below talking about your favorite films and why you think they impacted you the way they have.

Thanks, and May the Fourth be with you.

-Sarah

Just Give Me a Straight Answer!

Guest Poster: Kevin Sabourin

Whenever you ask somebody what their favorite movie is, you can never get a straight answer.  First comes the knee jerk response with something like “Star Wars” or “Lord of the Rings”… Then after a moment of silence comes a rattling list of four or five more absolute “favorite” movies.  “I’d have to say Shawshank Redemption, or Rebel Without a Cause… well no… that’s not my favorite but definitely in my top 5… no top 10!” 

And on and on it goes.

But as much as I loathe indecisiveness, I find myself in the same predicament when the question is posed to me.  And I think I’ve figured out why.

First we must start with the basics.  What is story?  Story is an account of a person’s experience, fictional or otherwise.  Let’s go one layer deeper.  Storytelling (specifically filmmaking) is an art.  What is art?  Expression.  Art is a human being creatively expressing himself through a given medium.  The reason we gravitate toward art is because when we hear others express themselves (and when we learn to express ourselves through our own art) we not only learn about our humanity, but we come to find we are not so alone in the universe.

Click to read more ...